Let’s Talk Intrusive Thoughts in Postpartum
We are going to talk about a taboo topic today: intrusive thoughts.
What are intrusive thoughts?
They are thoughts that can be:
extremely distressing
ego-dystonic (meaning, not in line with your moral character or values)
a symptom of anxiety, depression, or especially, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
The thing is, almost every single person has experienced intrusive thoughts in their lives, including at least *90%* of new parents.
So, why is this not talked about more?
Because of two of the hardest emotions we experience as human beings: guilt and shame.
Even though it is very common to have these thoughts, no one wants to admit they have them in fear of rejection by others.
Types of intrusive thoughts include:
Accidental harm (e.g., “What if I drop the baby down the stairs?”)
Intentional harm (e.g., “What if I get so mad I shake the baby?”)
Baby’s well-being (e.g., “What if my baby stops breathing in the middle of the night?”)
Sexual (e.g., “What if I touch my baby and get pleasure from it?”)
Taking on the form of images (e.g., seeing, in vivid detail, ways your baby could be harmed)
Negative self-talk (e.g., common in depression, “My children would be better off with another parent.”)
Anxiety about the future (e.g., “What if things never get better?”)
**Delusional (e.g., believing a certain person is possessed by the devil or that one is being followed by the FBI - These thoughts can be indicators of severe mental illness, including psychosis, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder; can include experiencing delusions and hallucinations; and would benefit from seeking mental health treatment immediately.)
If you are reading this and identify with any of these thoughts above, you are not alone.
Or, if you are reading this and horrified by the content, I want to emphasize that just because a person has these thoughts does *not* mean they have any intention or desire to act on these thoughts.
Thoughts *do not* necessarily equal action, nor are they facts or predictions of the future.
One of the most important things I learned in my perinatal mental health training is, in brain studies done on those with intrusive thoughts, results showed that the part of the brain that lights up when people have intrusive thoughts is the *protective* part of the brain.
When I heard that fact, it blew my mind, and it made so much more sense for me to see intrusive thoughts as a potential *symptom* of a mental health condition, or even stress, rather than a character flaw.
If you are having intrusive thoughts, or know someone else who is, and are concerned about the content and frequency of the thoughts, or *do* notice intent to act upon your thoughts, *please* reach out for help.
Research has shown that therapy can be an effective treatment, even more so when combined with medication, if necessary (although, it is important to rule out bipolar disorder before taking SSRIs).
I hope that this post can open up the opportunity for more dialogue around this topic, and for others to feel more safe to share their own stories.
If this topic resonates with you, please check out the book that this picture is from: Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts, by Karen Kleiman.
If you are feeling like you experienced, or are experiencing, perinatal anxiety…
You are not alone. You are not to blame. With help, you will be well.
Call or text Postpartum Support International HelpLine at 800-944-4773. You never need a diagnosis to ask for help.
Download the Connect by PSI App
Call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-852-6262
In a crisis situation, call or text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988
Visit postpartum.net for additional programs and resources, including joining FREE online support groups.
