Saying Goodbye To My Breast Pump

This is an emotional post, folks.

This week, I finished pumping. 

About a year ago, I had my second daughter. We do not plan on having any more children, and this was my last experience with breastfeeding and pumping.

A lot of people go into postpartum with the dream of exclusively breastfeeding; hoping they will not have to be tied to a pump.

While I knew exclusive breastfeeding would most likely happen for me, I tried so hard to create a sufficient supply for my baby.

I rented a hospital grade pump. 

I pumped after every. single. nursing. session.

I followed all the Instagram accounts on how to increase my supply. I took the supplements and ate the foods.

I was slowly, but surely, developing a small freezer stash - something that was never possible in my first postpartum.

Then, in June, we learned that my daughter had FOUR mouth ties, which were impacting her ability to sufficiently nurse, and her weight gain trend was dropping quickly.

I was devastated. I allowed myself to feel like “I am a failure” (another common unhelpful thought during pregnancy and postpartum!), for a brief moment.

I have been exclusively pumping ever since.

I went from pumping 6 times per day… to 5… to 4… to 3 - all the while pumping around 90-100 minutes per day. 

I have been ‘weaning’ since December.

I have been prone to mastitis this time around, getting flare ups almost monthly, and so I have wanted to move at a snail’s pace in this process. 

I have been decreasing my pump time by about 1 minute per day, for the past three months.

And, this week, I pumped for the last time. 

This milestone comes with so many feelings. A part of me wants to take this pump out back and go all Office Space on it.

But a larger part of me wants to thank it for everything it has helped me do.

With the pump's help, I was still able to provide countless gallons of milk for my baby over the past 9 months. 

I am so grateful. 

And I am so ready to say goodbye to this dang thing. 

I am having all the feelings. But hey, isn’t that postpartum?