Unhelpful Beliefs in Pregnancy/Postpartum
“I have to be in control” is a very common unhelpful thought/belief.
There are a variety of reasons this belief is developed, including:
Your childhood home felt unpredictable, erratic, and/or unsafe
Parent figures were very controlling, where they may have been power struggles between you and your parent
You experienced abuse, neglect, or other traumas that were beyond your control
This belief is also VERY common in pregnancy.
When we are pregnant, there is little to nothing within your control, in terms of the health of the pregnancy and the baby.
Yes, we can follow pregnancy guidelines, such as daily movement, taking prenatal vitamins, and eating a balanced diet.
At the same time, doing these things will not ensure a successful pregnancy; remove all risk of pregnancy and birth complications (for example, pre-eclampsia); and automatically lead to a perfectly healthy baby.
As a result, people often feel anxious in their pregnancies and grasp for what they have control over, including:
Trying to eat ‘perfectly’, including not eating anything that Google says could potentially ‘harm’ the baby
Not engaging in previously-used means of self-care, such as going on runs, because of the fear it will ‘harm’ the baby
Reading as much information about pregnancy and birth as possible, in hopes that being informed enough will prevent ‘bad’ things from happening
“I am losing control [of my body]” was a belief present during my first pregnancy.
I still remember looking at myself in the full-length mirror in our new house.
We had just moved in, and I was about 18 weeks pregnant.
We didn’t have a full-length mirror in our previous home, and this was the first time I was staring at the reflection of my whole body.
As many of us know, people at 18 weeks of pregnancy *feel* pregnant, but don’t really *look* pregnant.
A lot of pregnant people I have worked with have said, “It just looks like I am getting fat.”
This brings up a lot of feelings for people. Including worrying others will think they have ‘let themselves go’ or ‘are losing control’.
And in this moment of staring in the mirror, I felt that. Oof.
“I have to have control” is an old unhelpful belief in my life, and feeling like I did not have control over my body during pregnancy was very uncomfortable and scary.
But focusing on my body was a distraction from my true fear: that I did not have control over the health of my pregnancy or my baby.
If you resonate with any of this, and you are interested in identifying, and changing, your own unhelpful thoughts or beliefs…
Try my FREE eBook, What’s Holding You Back?: 10 Common Limiting Beliefs in Parenthood. Click here!
