4 Ways to Support Your Partner in Birth

According to Britta Bushnell, PhD. in her book, Transformed by Birth, holding space means:

“Providing support for whatever arises, maintaining a calm demeanor in the midst of situations that are unfamiliar to others, remaining unflappable to the raw expressions of labor, moderating their own big emotional responses,  and rarely drawing attention to themselves.”

If a birth parent is someone who likes to be in control in their daily lives, entering into the unstructured and unpredictable experience of childbirth can be anxiety-provoking.

It can also be hard for some birth parents to allow themselves to be taken care of, even during childbirth.

Some things that partners can do for birth parents:

1) Practice ways to support before giving birth.This way, the birth parent can find what works best, and communicate that with you.

2) Or, a way that the partner can know that what they are doing is helpful is if the birth parent is not telling you to stop. And, asking multiple questions like, “Is this helpful?” can be overwhelming to the birth parent.

3) Provide physical support, such as:

• Matching your breathing with theirs

• Firm massage on the back, hips, shoulders, feet, or hands

• Support positions, like sitting behind the birth parent

4) Because the birth parent will be in their own internal world during the birth experience, it is important the partner knows how to advocate for what the birth parent wants during labor and delivery, including using the B.R.A.I.N. technique when the doctor makes a recommendation:

• B - Benefits - How might (this proposed course of action) be helpful?

• R - Risks - Are there any consequences to what the doctor recommends?

• A - Alternatives - Is there anything else we can try?

• I - Intuition - How do I think or feel about this?

• N - Not yet - What if we wait an hour (or even 30 minutes)?