Let’s Talk About Internal Family Systems

If you are unfamiliar with IFS, Richard C. Schwartz - the creator of IFS - said in his book, No Bad Parts:

“IFS is a loving way of relating internally (to your parts) and externally (to the people in your life), so in that sense, IFS is a life practice, as well. It’s something you can do on a daily, moment-to-moment basis—at any time, by yourself or with others.”

In IFS, we develop something called “parts” as a means of coping with difficult experiences, emotions, beliefs, and body sensations throughout our lives. 

There are “manager” parts, which are proactive; fear-based; and try to keep the status quo.

Examples of common behaviors with manager parts include:

• Controlling

• Analyzing

• Criticizing

• Caretaking

• Planning

• Numbing

Then, there are “firefighter” parts, which are reactive; seek/create distraction; don’t care about consequences and just want relief.

Examples of common behaviors with firefighter parts include:

• Binge eating

• Overspending

• Having affairs

• Dissociating

• Distracting

• Cutting

Both the managers and the firefighters are created to protect our “exiles”, which are the parts of ourselves (typically our younger selves) who want to be seen and heard; are seeking redemption; and have experienced deep wounds and traumas. 

Examples of common behaviors with exile parts include:

• Sensitivity

• Anger

• Dependency

• Innocence

• Spontaneity

• Openness

Lastly, there is the Self, which is “the deepest essence or center of every person. When differentiated, Self acts as a wise, compassionate leader able to heal.”

We are all born a Self, but when we experience wounds and traumas, the parts - which are created to protect our most vulnerable parts of ourselves (exiles) - impact our ability to access our Self.

Woof, I know that is a lot of information. If you want to learn more, I highly recommend checking out Richard Schwartz’s book, No Bad Parts!