Anger in Postpartum & Parenthood
According to the Dialectical Behavior Therapy approach, we have 10 emotions hardwired into our biology.
This includes anger.
So, why and when do we feel anger?
When we feel:
A boundary has been violated
Something feels unfair or unequal
An important goal is blocked, or a desired activity is interrupted or prevented.
In postpartum and parenthood, as see this look like:
People not respecting your wishes, such as washing their hands before touching your baby.
Feeling like your life changed more after having a baby than your partner’s.
Wanting to sleep so badly, and not having to get the rest you need.
So, what do you do when you feel intense anger in postpartum and parenthood?
Take a time out for YOU.
Take time to relieve your nervous system, such as:
Deep breathing, with a longer exhale than inhale
Go for a 5-minute walk
Hold ice cubes in your hands, or put an ice pack on your forehead
Do 20 fast push ups against a wall
Practice a progressive muscle relaxation guided meditation
Cry
Call a mama or parent friend, who can understand what you are going through
Sing (ideally loudly) while taking a shower
You are feeling anger for a reason. It is OK to feel anger.
And it is important to take care of yourself when you feel such a heavy emotion.
If you are wanting more support in postpartum….
You are not alone. You are not to blame. With help you will be well.
Call or text Postpartum Support International HelpLine at 800-944-4773. You never need a diagnosis to ask for help.
Download the Connect by PSI App
Call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-852-6262
Visit postpartum.net for additional programs and resources
