A client who recently had a baby told me about how flamingos - both moms and dads - lose their pink color after becoming parents. She explained it was because the toll of nurturing and nourishing their babies drains them of their pink color. It isn’t until their babies are more independent that the parents’ color starts to return.

When I heard this, I felt it so deeply in my bones.

I have a specific memory of sleeping in a king-sized bed with my newborn.

We were doing some nursing and snuggling. I would inch a little bit away from her to give her more room. She would inch closer to me. Before I knew it, I was on the edge of the bed, and my little sweetie had the majority of the bed for herself.

I couldn’t help but laugh in the moment. I still smile when I think about it.

I also recognize how this could be an example of what happens to flamingos: we give and give of ourselves to our babies, willingly and selflessly, and before we know it, we find ourselves at our limit or on the edge.

I feel like I lost my pink color long before I realized it in my first postpartum. I didn’t acknowledge the traumas and stress I experienced. I pushed through, telling everyone - and myself - I was fine. It was inevitable for the PTSD and anxiety to set in.

I am actively trying to do things differently this time.

With this being my second time around raising a newborn, I know this time is short. I also know how to take better care of myself, whether it is through prioritizing my self-care time or connecting with my support network.

While my pink color has definitely faded over the past year, it doesn’t feel completely gone this time around. I also know it will be back someday, before I know it.

Until then, I will try and soak in all these precious moments, because I know I will be longing for these moments when my girls are grown.

If you feel like you have lost your pink color in postpartum, here are 4️⃣ ideas to help you get through today:

1️⃣ Zoom in or zoom out

Sometimes it can be helpful to zoom in on your thinking, such as focusing on getting through this one nap or one feeding session (opposed to looking at the full day of naps or feedings, and getting overwhelmed).

OR it can be helpful to zoom out, such as remembering this hard time will pass and you will get to a time where your baby is no longer a newborn/you are not in postpartum.

2️⃣ Get out of your house, even if it is for 10 minutes, every day.

When you stay home during postpartum, it can be hard to see beyond your small world in your home. Getting out in public or the fresh air, can help you widen your perspective of other things happening in the world and in your life.

3️⃣ Reach out to a friend.

Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders thrive in isolation. Connection in postpartum is key. Whether it be texting, a phone call, or (even better) being with a friend, in person - you can connect with other parts of yourself (other than “mother”), laugh, and feel seen/heard.

4️⃣ Work with a perinatal mental health therapist.

I had set myself up with a therapist for my first postpartum, and while she is an incredible therapist, she didn’t have knowledge about perinatal mental health. It was when I got connected with a perinatal mental health therapist that I felt like my life was changed for the better.

If you are in postpartum and feel you have lost your pink color…

🔵 You are not alone. You are not to blame. With help, you will be well.

🔵 Call or text @postpartumsupportinternational at 800-944-4773. You never need a diagnosis to ask for help.

🔵 Download the Connect by PSI App

🔵 Call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-852-6262

🔵 Visit postpartum.net for additional programs and resources, including an incredible therapy directory that is FULL of providers who specialize in perinatal mental health.

Have You Lost Your Pink Color?

Finding Yourself In Postpartum

Big News!!!!